Netpunk November 2002

With the alco-holidays right around the corner, I figured I could spend some time this month with some ideas for gift giving, card sending, and meal making.  In other words, I'm gonna be the punk rock Mothra Stewart for this month.

I'm going to start with a few sites for the cheap ass among us... virtual greeting cards.  They allow you to show someone you really care, without laying out any of your hard earned cash that would be better spent on a case of Oly, Black Label, or (insert regional cheap swill here) beer.  There are ton of e-card sites out there, but most of them just suck.

Happy House fanzine, out of the UK, has some pretty nice punk rock e-cards on their website, in addition to the news, reviews, interviews, and the rest that you'd find in a usual fanzine.  You can choose from photos of bands like Discharge, DKs, Avengers, Pistols, and more and send a card off to your friend or loved one.  Check them out at and click on the "Punks on E-cards" box.

You can also send a bunch of e-cards from some of the larger record company websites, such as Epitaph, Fat Wreck, Honest Dons, and the like.  Just check out their respective websites, which are so easy to find that I'm not going to mention their addresses here.

Another fun e-card site, though it hasn't been updated for several months, is AreYouDumb?.com ( which includes cards for holidays and special occasions.  Don't blame me, though, if the person you send one of these to stops speaking to you.

In the same vein, the insensitivity cards at You're Probably Lost ( contain heart-warming messages like "Welcome to Our Satanic Cult" and "I'm Sure You'll Get Parole Next Time".  In other words, perfect cards for your punk rock buddies.

Assuming that you're over 18 (heh, yeah right), Retro Raunch has some classic nekkid cheesecake postcards you can send to someone you care for.  There are some cool old Bettie Page style images here, and some that are a little more hardcore.  Visit them at and scroll down to the postcards link.

I was going to list a bunch of places where you could buy cool punk rock paraphernalia, but I realized that I did that in a column recently, so you can go to the website and look it up in the netpunk column archives.  Instead, I'm going to turn you on to the only present that you need to buy this year - Punk Rock Baby.  That's right, lullaby versions of your favorite 70s punk classics.  Visit the website, listen to the samples, and then buy several copies for everyone you know so that they can suffer along with you.  Visit today.

Actually, there is one site that I've yet to mention in a column that might be a good place to score some gifts for your buds, or to find something that someone should buy to for the holidays, and that is Essential Media.  They are a L.A.-based company that carries zines, CDs, books, comics, toys and more.  Check out what they have available at .

Oh yeah, I just remembered one other thing you should buy... the new EP from Wire.  In my opinion, it is like early Pink Flag-era Wire meets early-Ministry.  It is 5 songs, and it is great.  You can get Wire news and download some mp3s of some of the new songs at .  Wotta deal.

As we know, the winter holidays are all about gluttony.  That is the true meaning of christmas and thanksgiving.  With that in mind, you should visit Earthsave International at and pull your head out of your ass.  Earthsave International is an organization dedicated to educating people on how the food choices they make can change the planet.  Okay, so it is a bit on the hippie side, but it still has a lot of good info that will allow you to make educated choices.

If it is booze recipes you're after, then you can always try the standards at or, but they have some pretty sick shit (cottage cheese and alcohol?  Please!).  Instead, go to the Sparechange magazine website at, where you can not only read about hot cars, cool bands, and the like, but you can also visit the Watering Hole archives, where you'll find a bunch of hip recipes sure to make any party a drinkfest.

Gifts, food, and drink - that pretty much sums up the holidays for this punk rocker.  Before I wrap things up, though, I have two or three more places on the net that I have to tell you about.

First is the Trouser Press website at .  For those of you too young to remember, Trouser Press was a late-70s and early-80s magazine and they also published a guide to new wave records in the 80s and alternative records in the 90s.  Well, they now have most of those books online for free, and have even updated some of the entries.  This is a nice site for fans of particular old school bands, or those curious about the history of some of the older punk groups.

If you've never seen Cool and Strange Music magazine, you should go to your nearest indie zine store and insist they find you a copy.  That is, assuming that your taste in music is as twisted as mine is.  Find out by visiting the Cool and Strange website at .  From Davie Allan to Spike Jones to Mrs. Miller, Cool and Strange covers all the weird music you can stand.

Finally, one of the funniest things I've read online in a long, long time has to be "One Hundred Albums You Should Remove From Your Collection Immediately" by Wesley A. Kose at the .  Most of what he says is right on, and even when I disagree with one of his selections, his in-your-face attitude cracks me up. has lots of other good stuff, including a column about the passing of Dee Dee Ramone, and a rogues gallery of criminals from the Portland Police Department 100 years ago.

That's going to wrap up this month.  You can e-mail me your comments and suggestions to and you can visit the website to check out past and present columns and whatever else I'm up to.  See ya.